Posts by Billy the Ex-Bethelite

That's about the age I woke up and started posting here. Took me a few years to get out and I went off to university and got my degree. I've lived more and felt more youthful in these few years after age 42 than I did in all the previous JW years of my life.

I still struggle with the "obligation" part of it. JW life is all I've known, it's second nature to do all the JW routines.

While I was at university, I got free counseling with a psychologist. I think it helped me build self-esteem. So much of my self-worth hinged on my value to WT. Now if they want my time for their tired "routines", they'll have to be prepared to pay me $45 per hour before I'll even talk to them.

127

The people are mobilizing Mr Drumpf

by Simon in

protesters shut down a trump rally.

massive numbers of people are out in chicago and have shut his event down.

there were scuffles inside the event.. despite his lame attempt to pretend the violence he instigates is nothing to do with him it's clear that it is as the cnn quotes during the last event showed only too well.. this doesn't happen at anyone else's events - candidates have even given up the stage to protesters, not called for them to be beaten and punched.. trump is an ugly person and this is just a small taste of what a future under his rule would be like.. shame on the gop for not kicking his ass out.

Billy the Ex-Bethelite

Personally, I don't think that Trump had any intention of appearing at the event.

The protesters at UIC did exactly what he wanted them to do. Pictures can now circulate among his supporters showing "real americans" getting attacked by crowds of minorities and liberals.

22

I no longer feel smart as a JW, I feel dumb...

by thedepressedsoul in

i don't want anyone to take this the wrong way but i use to at least feel smart as a jw.

when i went to thursday night meetings, i at least felt like i was a student, that i was learning how to speak publicly, i could prepare my own comments, i could answer points that i learned from the weekly bible reading.

i even feel like an "idiot" studying for the meetings.

Billy the Ex-Bethelite

When I went to Thursday night meetings, I at least felt like I was a student, that I was learning how to speak publicly, I could prepare my own comments, I could answer points that I learned from the weekly bible reading.

Judging from your OP, you are also a good writer! You're still smart. It's the organization that's gotten dumb. It's a 19th century apocalyptic sect that has survived into this 21st century by evolving. After all of their failed prophecies and now all the information on the Internet, they can't attract intelligent new recruits. So they have to go with "simplified" everything and appeal to emotions rather than intellect.

38

A faded JW about to see the Circuit overseer

by pleaseresearch in

so my mum who is in and really is finding it hard that i have left and faded.

shes asked me if i want to the the circuit overseer next week.. i have never met him and this is more my mum wanting me to get my problems i have with the organisation out.

but should i share everything i've learnt or what?.

Billy the Ex-Bethelite

I dealt with some COs during my fade, but I knew how the game was played. My circumstances were very different from anything "normal". In my case, the first was an a$sho!e of a CO when I was still an elder who helped start my fade. Then we had a sub-CO who was "nice" and requested to meet with me privately. Turned out he was a rather condescending prick and made it easier for me to continue my fade. Then yet another new CO requested to meet with me privately. He actually admitted the local elders were idiots and he asked me for advice. He left the circuit just a couple of months later. Yes, it was something I said.

At this point, I would never meet with another CO, nor would I encourage anyone else to. Why bother? The bad COs will only make you hate WT more. The good COs will just tell you jokes or listen sympathetically if you talk. They are just WT middle managers, nothing more.

56

jw family loves to ask df'd ones for money!

by Ghiagirl in

well it finally happened!

we have been waiting about a year for this, my dfd husbands family asked us for money.

even though his own father hasn't met our 8 month old son.

Billy the Ex-Bethelite

Wow. When I was a dub, I couldn't imagine trying to get money from a non-JW and particularly not from someone dfd. Talk about bringing reproach on Jehobo's name.

They are a giant family too and they are all witnesses,

Although I'm the type that would help out my family, you can't support all of your big family. They need to rely on Jehovah... or more realistically, some of them better get jobs. This is a good economy in the US right now, they better take advantage of it while it lasts.

17

Hi your df but your invited to the memorial but we will not welcome you or talk to you .

by poopie in

jw
friends

but your welcome to come as guest we just will not talk to you stupid idiot

Billy the Ex-Bethelite

They're passive-aggressive to the degree that they need to regularly remind you that they're not talking to you.

Jesus did that all the time.

12

The Way JW Females Act

by LaurenM in

the more i interact with non-jw men and women the more i notice that i still behave like a jw woman.

when i interact with people (men especially) i find myself being super submissive and docile.

acting like i don't have a brain and can't make decisions on my own.

Billy the Ex-Bethelite

Do any other exJW woman find themselves acting this way?

I'm not an exJW woman, but as an exJW I find that I may tend to be obedient/compliant/weak-willed at times around "superiors". To my credit, they love me at work both because of my skill and my psychology to get everyone to cooperate productively. Enough about me...

How did you learn to stand up for yourself and not always bend to what others tell you to do?

My opinion and experience: First step is to literally "stand up" with good posture and confident body language. It affects how others view you and how you view yourself. Next, I listen carefully to every interaction and usually have a notebook with me to note things down. If this is a request from someone not my boss, I check with my boss. I have lots to do, so he has the option of telling me to drop it or place it somewhere in my priority. Then, I play through scenarios in my head of how something may play out.

I think I've become an easy target for people looking to take advantage of others.

Learn from the examples of others around you on how to peacefully navigate your workplace. Take incremental steps to where you want to be.

I hope this is helpful somehow.

10

So Thankful

by BeautifulMind in

i was just sitting here on this beautiful saturday afternoon thinking about how thankful i am that i left the jws.

do i wish i had woke up and left sooner, sure.

but i'm definitely happy that i'm out period, and for so many reasons but i just will share a few.

Billy the Ex-Bethelite

"Jesus Effing Christ! We build a snazzy website with stunning videos and the smart ones are still leaving Watchtower in droves!"

34

Leaving the JWs

by Hurting in

i am 32 years and have recently left the organisation.

i got baptised in last feb. please excuse any typing errors i have dyslexia.

it has been so hard this year i have gone through so many ups and downs.

Billy the Ex-Bethelite

Welcome!

Hurting is part of healing. It reminds you that you're still alive.

We were raised under the manipulation of a cult.

WT wants us to be as helpless as little children, emotionally weak, and dependent up others for any sense of self-worth. We were fed a steady diet of FOG - fear, obligation, and guilt.

In my personal journey out, I was able to receive free professional counseling at the university, which helped me immensely. One of the things that it helped me to do was differentiating between how WT had conditioned me to feel about things vs. how I really felt about things vs. how reality was different than all these "feelings".

That is a lesson I still come back and visit frequently. I still often "feel" or think that I "should feel" lonely, depressed, anxious, stressed. In reality, my circumstances are filled with opportunity and I have every reason to be happy and optimistic! Although I sometimes "feel lonely", I stop and ask "who do I want to be around right now?" First answer is, "not a JW who will police what I say or do." And typically I continue, "I've been around people all week, being alone is nice so I can eat, watch, do what I want, when I want."

Good luck with everything... PARTICULARLY WITH COMPLETING YOUR EDUCATION!

WT could take away my position in the congregation and separate me from most of the "friends" I have known. But they can never take away my engineering degree!

"Holy Crap! These ex-JWs are getting degrees and going on to live happy, successful lives! Turn up the FOG!"